Spain in the Ass

As you can probably tell from the incredibly clever title (you can be sure to expect more clever wordplay combined with titles in the future), I’m feeling a little frustrated right now. Today was the first day that I’ve actually had to do school work so I spent the early part of my afternoon buckling down so I could head to the beach for the rest of the day. So I finished my work, ran home to change, got on the bus, and was in the middle of rocking out to my sweet Valencia playlist (more on that in a post scheduled for later this week) when it started to rain. So now I’m writing this not really knowing what to do since I already finished my work and I can’t really go outside. So I guess I learned that the time to go to the beach is when the sun is shining and to always put off for later whatever doesn’t have to be done today and all those other things people say that will be around forever. Oh well, I said I would blog today and was totally going to blow it off so this is what I get.

This gives me a chance to go into more detail on aspects of my day-to-day life here in Spain, now that I kinda know what that is. First of all, it’s just Lola and I here at the old hogar sweet hogar. She has three kids but they all live out of the house. I’ll admit it, at first I was a little disappointed that I wouldn’t get the brother I always wanted nor have a pseudo-sister who would've showed me around the city, introduced me to her friends, and forced me into a complex and confusing internal conflict when I inevitably developed a crush on her. Home life isn’t going to be exactly how I imagined, however, this one-on-one situation has its benefits. First of all, it gives Lola and I the opportunity to get very close. My first night here for example, we watched the movie Unfaithful on T.V. You know, the one where Diane Lane is married to Richard Gere, has a series of graphic extramarital affairs with a French guy, some consensual, others only semi-consensual, and then ends with Richard Gere killing the dude with a snow globe and everyone living happily ever after? That one. It was on channel 4. Unedited. That’s how they do things here in Europe. (More on that later.) One would think that we were headed for a level of awkwardness I hadn’t felt since probably the time my old mom put on Risky Business when I was 12. She thought of it as that silly movie where Tom Cruise dances in his underwear when really it’s that R-rated movie where Tom Cruise runs a prostitution ring and has sex on trains. That level of awkwardness. But it wasn’t. Instead we talked about the complexity of relationships and the different ways that directors are able to create tension and suspense in movies. As you may have heard me say before, the Spanish don’t even have a word for awkward. And they have a different word for everything! So yeah, a lot of nights she’ll make a great meal, we’ll talk, and then sit out on the balcony and talk some more. We’re practically biffles already. And I’ve already met her youngest son, who’s in his thirties, when he came over to take a nap on the couch and drop off his laundry. He’s an inspiration. So I’m really getting the best of both worlds.

Classes started last Tuesday so it was my first official day of checking my professors for wedding rings. I’m sorry to say at least two of my three professors are married, although Professor Valle said that I was welcome to his wife. He did. I’m taking four classes here, three on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9-1:50 and one on Mondays and Wednesdays from 10:40-12:10. I’m taking Spanish Literature, Spanish Culture and Civilization, Translation, and Advanced Literature and Cinema. It’s a little more challenging of a semester than I had originally wanted (that is in no way a joke) but I think it will be fine and I’ll learn a lot. There are three 400 level classes hidden in there, with Mabel Richart teaching two of them. Ugly name, attractive woman, intense personality. She told me that I’m going to see her in my nightmares. I thought to myself “Maybe, but at least they’ll be nightmares mojados.” Don’t look that up if you are family, over 40, or can’t handle adult situations (like a 12 year-old boy watching a prostitution movie with his mother). Mabel teaches Translation and Cinema and started out the first day encouraging everyone to speak with a Spanish acthent. But really it’s going to be interesting and my classes will definitely improve my Spanish, especially Translation.

My days so far basically have all been the same, because I want to take advantage of the weather while I can. I get up and Lola has my café con leche and breakfast all ready and my lunch packed up, then I get ready and go to school. After school I’ll head home, maybe go for a run around the City of Arts and Sciences, pick up a bottle of wine or a liter of Amstel and head to the beach. At the beach we’ll swim, relax, play with the paddleball set my brother Luís Miguel gave me, and when it gets a little later OH MY GOD THE SPANISH DEAL OR NO DEAL JUST CAME ON we’ll play volleyball and meet some Spaniards. I’m putting together a pretty solid crew (who will lead them?) for our beach times. After the beach I get home around nine and shower and when I get out dinner is on the table. That ain’t bad. After that it’s time to party.

I feel like this has been kind of long so I’ll sum up this past weekend fairly quickly. We’re still trying to figure out the pregame scenario since we’re all in homestays and can’t visit each other’s houses, they stop selling alcohol around 9:30, and we’re not allowed to keep alcohol in our houses. Very un-European. Anyway, what it looks like we’ll do is hit up a park or a sweet bridge from 11-12 to crush wine or cocktails, head to a cheap bar from 12-1:30 or 2, head to the disco dance from 2-beyond. This weekend I went to a bar at the suggestion of a friend who’s been here before and they were playing hardcore porn on the TVs in the bar. Thanks, neginf87. Made friends with the owner of a different bar, enjoyed a private party after close doing 1 euro sake bombs and listening to blink-182’s Take Off Your Pants and Jacket in its entirety. Taught dancing lessons which included telling a girl that she had no rhythm and her riding on my back as I glided around the dance floor so she could learn what rhythm felt like. Met this guy who is the lead singer of a Red Hot Chili Peppers cover band in Italy, even though he doesn’t speak English.

The other interesting thing that happened this weekend was that I met my intercambio, Sandra Grau. Intercambio means blind date in Spanish, and it’s a program run by the school. I met her at a mall and we walked around and then sat down and had a Coke. She paid. I’m not going to say too much about her because we’re Facebook friends and she might read this. Let’s just say that she might be the most adorable girl in the world and I considered calling this post “Grau-ing Just Thinking About Her.” Also, her English is way better than my Spanish. That’s definitely enough for now, I’m gonna watch TV with Lola now. I’m planning on detailing my beautiful run later this week if I can get pictures.

Besitos,

Jim