Volcanicdotes

I’m going to start out a little different this week and talk about my job for a moment. Last week things really got rolling at work and I got to do some pretty cool things and have some great experiences. First up was our meeting with the big boss, a man we had never met before, and actually never knew existed, even though he works (and he says lives) four doors down. He sat us down at the table in his office, smoked nine cigarettes, and talked to us for about two hours on the situation here in Mexico. It was a really great and informative meeting and he answered all our questions on everything. Later in the week, we drove about an hour south of the city to meet with the head of the anti-drug division of the Federal Police. He's kind of a big deal. A lot of people kind of want him dead. The meeting went just as well, was just as interesting, and he smoked just as many cigarettes. Seriously, I felt like I was in an episode of Mad Men. After all these meetings with important people I was starting to feel like an important person myself. Who could be next? Malcolm, Coltrane, my man Yusef? No, it was none of those, but it was still pretty cool. Thursday we went to CONTEL, the police training facility. There they did demonstrations in everything from their monitoring systems to weapons demonstrations and raiding a hijacked airplane. I also stood in a fake house as an “inocente” while federales raided the house and shot up those who were not as innocent. My ears were ringing for the rest of the day. And then they put out SANDWICHES. I don’t think I have to tell you how much I enjoyed myself at CONTEL. What’s that? You want me to tell you how much I enjoyed myself through an amusing analogy accompanied by a video? Ok, well, I enjoyed myself more than Chris Kaman on the Fourth of July.

Then it was on to Thursday night. Last Thursday was one of the weirdest, wildest, and most fun nights I think I’ve ever had. In Mexico. It started out the way any night with promise should: with some guy. We got off work and hit the table (#awisemanoncesaid) and I proceeded to go undefeated against Bryant’s Myth. I needed this because I had struggled against him as of late, and this little boost of confidence would soon take my night to new levels. A little after ten we sauntered on to dinner at the restaurant I picked out, El Bajio. Since the kitchen was closing, we strutted in like pros and immediately ordered two mezcals, a beer, and a half kilo of the house-specialty carnitas, which had been braising since 3 am the night before. The food was delicious and we wined and dined until our bellies were full. After dinner we crossed the street and creeped into the Whiskey Bar inside the W Hotel.

This is where things started to get weird. The place was obviously too upscale for me. We got some drinks and then tried to find some chairs to sit in, but there were no chairs in this bar. Only beds. It was just older people drinking expensive drinks, sitting on beds. We walked around and went up on the terrace, but that was just more beds, only this time they were outside. It was around this point that Bryant started whispering in my ear that he had a crush on these two gorgeous women we had just walked by and he wanted me to go talk to them. Not a bad strategy since I look better and speak better. Like the good friend I am, I sit down next to these two smokeshows (yesterday I read through all of Ugg Boots for Men) and say the smoothest, creamiest things you could imagine, and needless to say, they were charmed. They then proceeded to tell me that I should leave because they were meeting two men there at any moment. I walked away crushed and confused, not knowing what they meant because usually this wouldn’t have mattered and they would have ditched these chumps without hesitation. I could only blame Bryant for staring creepily from an awkward distance of about 15 feet and move on. I would feel better a little later when I found out that they were meeting these dudes for a business meeting, if you know what I mean. I’m saying that these girls were professionals, if you catch my drift. They were prostitutes, if you’re picking up what I’m putting down. These girls had sex for money.

We then moved on to the only reasonable activity available when you find yourself in a bar full of beds, older people, and hookers: flirt with the waitresses. I was in the middle of telling one how much cooler, younger, and hipper I was than everyone else in the bar when our two younger, female bosses walked into the bar. We locked eyes from across the room, everyone’s jaw dropped, the waitress was in the middle of saying how much she agreed with me and started saying where we should go when she got off, when I put my finger to her lips, whispered “Shhh…” and started making my way across the bar toward the bosses.

We then stayed and hung out on the beds in that fun/weird “we know each other from work, but this isn’t work” vibe. Our main boss, Margarita, was leaving for vacation the next day, so she was ready to party. But I guess when you’re name’s Margarita; you kinda have to be always ready to party. So she invites everyone back to her place, we stop and buy beer at 2 am, and we continue the festivities. And the festivities continued into the morning hours, with Margarita telling me at 10 am that I had to go to work. And she was serious. So Friday was not fun. We were able to get off work a little early and then Misters Myth and I totally crashed. It was worth it though, with lots of fun little anecdotes that I won’t tell you here.

Saturday morning we woke up refreshed from a long night’s sleep, packed some food, and got on a bus to Toluca, a city over an hour west of the capital. From there we commissioned a taxi driver (a real taxi driver this time, and we were sure it was safe because the taxi company was called Taxis Seguro, or “Safe Taxis”) to take us the rest of the way (another hour) to Nevado de Toluca, a volcano that is the fourth highest peak in Mexico. Nevado has been high on my to-do list pretty much since we got here and I was pumped to play in the volcano. We got out of the taxi, took three steps up the trail, and were winded. At 15,354 ft., Nevado is higher than any peak in the contiguous United States (eat it, Mount Whitney and Mount Rainier; touché, Mount McKinley), and we were feeling it.

Once again, higher than Bryant.

We made it up to the crater and saw the two lakes, the Lake of the Sun, and the Lake of the Moon. We went down in the crater and walked between to the two lakes to the other side, to a peak that I had my eye on. When we got to the top it started hailing and storming so I found a rock that functioned perfectly as a chaise lounge, and sat down and ate my sandwich. After things cleared up a little we climbed a little higher and enjoyed the views when the clouds would let us. After we filled our eyes with the beauty we glissaded back down into the crater. For the amateurs, glissading is “the voluntary act of descending a steep slope in a controlled manner either for the sheer thrill of the ride or to bypass tedious scree.” In our case, it was like skiing down a gravel slope with no skis. It was a lot of fun and occasionally painful.

Sunday we needed a lot of sleep to make up for everything, so we didn’t leave the hotel/apartment until 4. That gave us just enough time to go back to the anthropology museum and finish what we started a couple of weeks ago.

Body shots!

Obviously, last weekend was a blast.

Besitos,

Jim